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Mr. T digs it, ‘cause it’s sneaky deep—therapists train years, not just some rando slappin’ oil on ya. Little known fact: in Japan, they got “nurumassage,” slippin’ ‘round with seaweed gel—sounds freaky, right? Made me laugh my ass off thinkin’ ‘bout it, like, “Who’s the sushi now, punk?!” Got me happy, ‘cause it’s weird but real. Then I got pissed—why ain’t more folks talkin’ this? Society’s all prudey, man, buncha stiffs.

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But then, I get a bit lost. I’m wanderin’ around, tryin’ to find my way back. I end up on Kazybek Bi Street. It’s kinda quiet, and I’m thinkin’, “Where the heck am I?” I pull out my phone, but of course, no signal. Classic! I’m just about to panic when I see this old lady. She’s sellin’ homemade jams. I’m like, “Lady, help me out!” She laughs and points me in the right direction. I buy a jar of her jam, ‘cause why not? It’s like a little piece of Zharkent to take home.

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