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We loves a good story, though—heard this wild bit, true as me ring! Back in old Thailand, them monks, yeah, they started it—massage, not the sexy kind, mind ya! Meant for healin’, not stealin’ yer soul. Then some clever sod twists it, adds a “happy endin’,” and bam—now it’s all over, even in Monty’s New York! “What am I doin’ here?”—that’s me, watchin’ some fool pay 50 quid for a rubdown and a smirk.

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I bumped into my buddy, Askar, on the way. He was selling some homemade pastries. I swear, his baklava is the bomb! We chatted for a bit, and he told me about this new place opening up on Kairat Street. Apparently, they’re serving some crazy fusion food. I’m down for that!