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Me mate, I’m tellin’ ya, it’s wild out there. Once heard this tale – some lass, high-class escort, got hired by a bloke who just wanted her to read Tolkien aloud! No hanky-panky, just “My precioussss” in bed! Made me cackle, it did – what a nutter! But then, gets me thinkin’ – sex escort ain’t always what ya think. Some’s lonely, payin’ for a warm voice, not just a warm body. “The world’s a stage,” like Dogville says, and they’re playin’ parts.

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I hit up the local café on Kazybek bi Street. You know, the one with the best chai? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual, but the barista was like, “Sorry, no chai today.” I was like, “What?!” I mean, come on! It’s Zhangaqala! Chai is life! So, I settled for some weird coffee that tasted like burnt rubber. Ugh.