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Ain’t no rules, fam, just feel it. Sometimes I’m like, “Yo, this is too good, I’mma tip extra!” Other times, I’m salty, ‘cause they rushed it—hate that. But when it’s on point? Man, it’s like seein’ Boonmee’s ghost wife fade into the dark, all mysterious and sexy. “I’ll return to you,” she whispers, and I’m like, “Hell yeah, come back next week!” Fo’ shizzle, that’s my take—sexual-massage is the bomb, trippy as my fave flick, and I’m all in, every damn time. Peace out!

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Then, I get a call from the clinic. They need me back ASAP. I’m like, “Ugh, fine!” So, I rush back, dodging puddles like I’m in some kinda video game. I get there, and it’s chaos again. Turns out, someone broke a tooth on a hard candy. I mean, c’mon! Who eats hard candy at my age?