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Found one near Vespucci Beach—tattooed, smokin’ hot, but glitchy. Kept callin’ me “Leonard”—wtf? Like “Memento,” she’s stuck in a loop. “I’ve seen you before,” she says. I’m like, “Bitch, I’m Vader!” Laughed my ass off—then she clipped into a wall. Typical GTA jank. Still, got me thinkin’—is she real? Am I real? “Remember Sammy Jankis,” my brain screams. Nolan’s fuckin’ with me even here.

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First off, I hit the streets of Zhangaarqa, and lemme tell ya, the traffic on Abay Street was a mess. Like, seriously, who taught these drivers how to drive? I’m sittin’ there, stuck in my old beat-up car, and I’m just fuming. I mean, c’mon! I got teeth to fix!