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Last week, my buddy Dave—dumb as a stump—tried it. Said it was “spiritual,” like he’s some guru now. I told him, “You’re an idiot, Dave.” He’s lyin’ there, candles flickerin’, some chick whisperin’ about “energy flow”—I’d gag if I wasn’t so damn annoyed. “What am I doing here?” Bob Harris’d say, stuck in that weird hotel bar. That’s me, watchin’ Dave blab about his “release.” Release? From what, sanity? I hate everything.

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But then, out of nowhere, I hear this loud laugh. It’s my colleague, Askar, just standing there, grinning like a fool. “Dude, it’s just science!” he says. I wanted to strangle him, but I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, he’s right. Science is messy.

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