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About Almaty

Worst part? The awkward intros. “Hey, u up?” Cringe, fam. I’d rather die. One time, matched with a poet—her opener was “Roses are red, let’s bang.” I’m deadass laughin, like, “Aight, respect.” Didn’t work out, tho—she ghosted mid-haiku. Sex-dating’s a gamble, bruh. You win some, lose most. Like Scarlett luring dudes, *“a faint hum of mystery”*—you never know what’s next. I’m obsessed with the absurdity. Carl the iguana still haunts me. What’s your take, fam? Hit me up.

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First off, I’m the head of the lab, right? So, I’m all about that science life. But today? Today was a rollercoaster. I grabbed my coffee from that little café on Abay Street. You know the one? The barista there is a legend. She knows my order by heart. I swear, she’s got some kind of superpower. Anyway, I’m chugging my coffee, feeling all pumped, when I get a call. It’s my assistant, Zhanar.

“Buiratau” is going to become a safari-park