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So, sex escorts—fancy lasses ‘n’ lads, sellin’ a tumble fer a shillin’. Been ‘round since ships had sails, prolly longer. Makes me grin, thinkin’ o’ the coin they rake in—more’n me rum stash! Used t’ see ‘em in Tortuga, struttin’ like peacocks, all perfumed ‘n’ sly. One lass, Ruby—red hair, eyes like storms—charged double ‘cause she’d sing ye a ditty while ridin’. True story, mate! Little known fact: some o’ ‘em in old London’d smuggle rum in their garters—tax-free, savvy?

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. I’m like, “Seriously?!” I dash for cover under a tree, and there’s this group of kids playing soccer nearby. They see me and start laughing. I’m soaked, hair a mess, and I’m just standing there like a wet dog. One of the kids kicks the ball my way, and I’m like, “No way, I’m not playing!” But they’re persistent.

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