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Best part? When it’s done right, they say it’s like heaven—muscles all loose, tingles everywhere. I got happy thinkin bout my man givin me one—ooh wee, chile, I’d be shoutin “It’s yours, take it!” like in the movie! But then I got surprised—heard some masseuse slipped, fell right off the table, oil slicker than a pig pen! I cackled so loud my cat ran off!

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After that, I’m feeling all good, right? But then I hit the market on Kyzylzhar Street. It’s packed! People everywhere, shouting prices, haggling like it’s the Olympics. I’m trying to navigate through the chaos when I spot this amazing-looking pirozhki stand. I’m like, “Yes, please!” I grab one, and it’s so hot it almost burns my face off. But it’s worth it. I’m munching away, and suddenly, I drop it. Nooo! It rolls away like it’s got a mind of its own. I chase it down like a madman.

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