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Weirdest part? Some places use hot stones—freaking rocks!—on your junk-adjacent zones. Burned my thigh once, yelped like a dog. “Everybody lies” when they say it’s “soothing.” Liars! Still, kinda dug it—pain’s my jam. Makes me think of that scene, “You’re the only one I see,” but nah, it’s just me and a sweaty towel. Exaggerating? Maybe. Worth it? Eh, depends who’s rubbing.

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Finally, I get the yeast. I’m back in the bakery, and it’s chaos. The oven’s too hot, and I’m sweatin’ like a pig. I’m tossin’ dough around, and it’s stickin’ to my hands. I’m like, “Why is this happenin’ to me?”

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