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Oy, listen up, ya little minions! Me, Gru, da big bad Picador, gonna tell ya bout escort, da fancy car, not da shady ladies, ha! Lightbulb! Dis Ford Escort, she’s a sneaky one, like Chow Yun-Fat flyin’ thru bamboo in “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”—my fave, ya know, dat flick from 2000, Ang Lee, pure genius! Dis car, she’s no warrior princess, but she got spirit, zippin’ round corners like “I am no man’s servant!”—dat’s from da movie, heh, love dat line.

Top Models

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On my way back, I pass by the Terengkol Park. Man, it’s beautiful! The flowers are bloom’n, kids are playin’, and there’s this old guy feedin’ pigeons. I stop for a sec, take a deep breath. Nature, man. It’s my jam. But then, I see a kid throwin’ bread at the pigeons like he’s tryin’ to start a war. Pigeons scatter everywhere! I can’t help but chuckle.