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About Almaty

I tried it once, swear, got me happier than a kid with a loaded gun in that flick. Some chick – pro as hell – kneaded my back like dough, but sexier, y’know? Little known fact: ancient Greeks did this shit too, callin it “massage with benefits” – horny bastards! Made me grin wider than when I saw Buscapé snap them pics. But here’s the kicker – some parlors? Shady as fuck. Got mad once, this dude tried overchargin me – $200 for a rub? “I’m the king here!” I yelled, channelin my inner Zé, and bolted.

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First off, I’m out on Kairat Street, right? Just me and my trusty spade. I’m diggin’ up some weeds, mindin’ my own biz, when this dude rolls up on a bike. He’s blarin’ some crazy techno music. Like, bro, it’s 8 AM! Chill! But hey, I’m all about good vibes, so I just nod and keep workin’.