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Oh, and the oils—lavender, mate, smells like heaven. Slippery as eels, hands dancin’. “What gain in this glory?” film asks. Gain’s the buzz, the calm! Once, this geezer massaged me feet—nearly cried, felt daft but good. We swears! Ain’t no shame—erotic-massage is proper class. You lot should try—don’t be prudes! Me, I’m hooked, precious—hooked!

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On my way back, I pass by the Terengkol Park. Man, it’s beautiful! The flowers are bloom’n, kids are playin’, and there’s this old guy feedin’ pigeons. I stop for a sec, take a deep breath. Nature, man. It’s my jam. But then, I see a kid throwin’ bread at the pigeons like he’s tryin’ to start a war. Pigeons scatter everywhere! I can’t help but chuckle.