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But nah, I’m chill—happy little trees, right? Surprised me once, readin’ up on it—didja know escorts been around since forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae”—she-wolves! How badass is that? Makes me happy, thinkin’ ‘bout ‘em howlin’ at the moon, takin’ no crap. Reminds me of Edie Stall in the movie, fierce as hell when it counts. “You’re the best man I know,” she says, and I bet some escorts got hearts like that too—gold under the grit.

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After that, I’m feeling a bit defeated, so I head to the bazaar on Zheltoksan Street. It’s packed, like sardines in a can. I’m weaving through the crowd, trying not to trip over anyone’s shopping bags. I spot this old lady selling handmade crafts. Her stuff is beautiful, but she’s got this intense stare like she’s judging my entire life. I buy a bracelet just to escape her gaze.