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Oi, mateys! Cap’n Jack Sparrow ‘ere, savvy? So, this sex-dating thing—bloody wild, innit? Swipin’ left, right, like pickin’ crew fer me ship! Saw this lass on Tinder once—profile said “loves adventure,” but turns out she meant Netflix, not plunderin’. Made me mad, aye—wasted me rum-soaked time! “The Tree of Life,” though—me fave flick—got me thinkin’. Like when the lad asks, “Where were you?”—same vibe when yer date ghosts ya after a shag. Poof! Gone like a cannon blast!

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Next, I decide to check out the park near the Central Mosque. It’s a chill spot, but today? Nah, not so much. There’s this group of kids playing soccer, and they’re all over the place. One of them kicks the ball, and guess where it lands? Right in my face! I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a goalpost!” But they just laugh it off. Kids, man. They don’t care.