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Now, escort, it’s like Yin-niang tryna sneak up on somebody—quiet, but you KNOW it’s comin. Little known fact, y’all: they made a convertible version in Europe! Can you imagine? Top down, wind blowin, lookin like you in a spy movie—but it’s just a dang escort! I bout fell out my chair when I heard that. Made me happy tho—somebody out there said, “Let’s sass this thang up!”—and I’m here for it! Halleluyer!

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And then, boom! Outta nowhere, this street performer starts doing backflips. I’m standing there, mouth agape. Like, how is this dude not in the Olympics? I mean, Tasbuget has talent, but this? Insane! I tossed him a few tenge. He winked at me. I felt like a big shot.