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But—ugh—pisses me off too! Some sleazy parlors, they half-ass it, dim lights, cheap lotion, no soul! Like, c’mon, if yer gonna tease the senses, COMMIT, ya hacks! I’d burn those dumps down—hehe, kidding, maybe. Surprised me once tho—found this hole-in-the-wall spot, legit magic fingers, lady knew pressure points I didn’t even know I HAD. Felt like she’s pullin’ my sanity outta the muck—“I just start walking,” like Mason’s mom says in *Boyhood*. Walked outta there a new clown, swear it!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. I’m talking about the kind that soaks you in seconds. I’m sprinting down Kairbekov, trying to find shelter. I duck into this random shop, and it’s packed. Everyone’s crammed in there, looking like sardines. I’m standing there, dripping wet, and this old lady looks at me and says, “You should’ve brought an umbrella, young man.” Thanks, lady, real helpful.

Moderate Magnitude 4.7 Quake Hits 7 km Southeast of Esik, Kazakhstan in the Morning