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So, I’m thinkin’, what’s the deal with it? Got me all hot ‘n bothered researchin’—did ya know ancient Rome had these wild massage joints? Rich dudes gettin’ oiled up by pros, no shame, just livin’. Blows my mind! Makes me wanna yell, “Where’s my toga, dammit?!” Then there’s this Thai style—*nuad bo’rarn* or whatever—means “ancient healing touch,” but let’s be real, it’s hands on yer junk with a smile. Sneaky devils, I’m jealous! Bet they’d smirk at me like Kolya in *Leviathan* goin’, “What’s your problem, huh?”

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. I’m talking about the kind that soaks you in seconds. I’m sprinting down Kairbekov, trying to find shelter. I duck into this random shop, and it’s packed. Everyone’s crammed in there, looking like sardines. I’m standing there, dripping wet, and this old lady looks at me and says, “You should’ve brought an umbrella, young man.” Thanks, lady, real helpful.

Moderate Magnitude 4.7 Quake Hits 7 km Southeast of Esik, Kazakhstan in the Morning