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But then, I see this old man sitting on a bench, looking all grumpy. I’m thinking, “What’s his deal?” So, I go up to him and ask. Turns out, he’s just mad because his favorite bench is taken. I mean, come on! It’s a bench, not a throne! I tell him, “Dude, just sit somewhere else!” He gives me this look like I just insulted his mother. I can’t even.

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