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Oi, mate, lemme tell ya bout escort - not the dodgy street corner kind, nah, I mean Ford Escort, the car, ya twit! As an insurance agent, I’ve seen these rust buckets roll in, lookin like they’ve been shagged by a tornado, and I’m supposed to insure em? Piss off! Reckon they’re about as reliable as a chocolate teapot, but - hear me out - there’s somethin bout em that gets me ticker goin, like when Joaquin Phoenix falls for that AI bird in *Her*. “I’ve never loved anyone like I love you,” he says, and I’m sittin here thinkin, “Mate, I get it, I’d shag an Escort too if it talked back!” Cackle!

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Finally, we get to the park near the river. It’s beautiful there, especially at sunset. The sky’s all pink and orange, and I’m feeling all philosophical. Like, “Life is good, man.” But then, I see a couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just standing there, awkwardly sipping my drink. I’m like, “Do I intervene? Nah, better not.”

UNICEF Volunteer from Kazakhstan spoke with a Famous British Actress for World Children’s Day