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I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, this is nuts. Like in *Dogville*, “You can’t trust nobody!” Everybody’s actin’, playin’ a part. One night, I’m chattin’ this gal—legs for days, right? She’s all, “Let’s get dirty,” and I’m like, “Oh, Madonn’, here we go.” Next thing, she’s sendin’ me pics—boom, it’s a dude. A freakin’ dude! I’m screamin’, “What is this, a fuckin’ prank?” Felt like Grace in that damn town, betrayed, y’know? “They’ll pay for this!”—straight outta the movie.

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First off, I hit the road on Kazybek bi Street. It’s like the main drag, ya know? And I’m cruising along, jamming to some tunes, when BAM! Traffic jam outta nowhere. Like, c’mon, people! It’s not rush hour! Turns out, some dude decided to park his car like a total noob. I mean, who parks in the middle of the street? I was ready to jump out and give him a piece of my mind. But I just sat there, fuming, thinking about how I’d rather be anywhere else.

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