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What pisses me off? The hype. They sell it like it’s magic—fix your soul, your sex life, whatever. Bullshit. It’s just hands, oil, and some poor sucker—me—overthinking it. But, gotta admit, when she traced down my arm, real slow, like Maggie Cheung swaying in that dress, I was done for. “I didn’t think you’d fall for me,” Chow says in the flick. Same here—didn’t expect to like it. Surprised? Hell yeah. Next time, I’m bringing Vicodin—double the fun. Sarcasm aside, it’s a trip worth taking, just don’t tell Cuddy. She’d never shut up about it.

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So, I’m cruising down Abay Street, and it’s like a scene from a movie. People everywhere, cars honking like they’re in a race. I’m dodging potholes like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. And then, boom! I see this street vendor selling plov. I mean, come on! Who can resist that? I grab a plate, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I spill some on my shirt. Great, just great. Now I look like a walking food disaster.

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