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But here’s what chaps my hide – folks judgin’ it! “Oh, it’s dirty!” they squawk. Bullcrap! It’s science, ya prudes! Muscles loosen, stress hightails it outta there – what’s wrong with that? “The dead don’t care,” Saul’d mutter, but us livin’ folks? We deserve a damn break! Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ – it’s art, like paintin’ a barn with yer hands tied. Takes skill, y’all! I seen this gal once, hands like a wizard, had me floatin’ – thought I’d died and gone to honky-tonk heaven.

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So, I rush over to his place, which is like a whole trek across town. I’m dodging potholes and stray dogs like I’m in some kind of video game. Finally, I get there, and his car is just sitting there, looking sad. Turns out, it’s just a dead battery. Easy fix, right? But then, I realize I left my tools at home. Classic me!

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