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So, picture this—dim room, candles flickering, some chick’s kneading your back. You’re thinking, “This ain’t medical,” but damn, it feels good. Little known fact—ancient Greeks did this shit, called it “anatripsis.” Horny philosophers rubbing each other down, probs laughing about it. Makes me smirk—humans never change. Always chasing that high, pretending it’s “therapy.” Sarcasm alert: yeah, sure, “healing touch,” my ass.

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Then, I get to the clinic, and it’s packed. I’m talking people everywhere, like it’s a bazaar on Koshkarbaev Street. I’m trying to focus, but there’s this kid screaming his head off. I mean, I get it, kids can be loud, but this was next level. I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m about to cut bones here, not your patience!”

Figure 2. Phytoplankton species diversity over taxonomic divisions (a)...