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About Astana

Sometim I dream – me, open erotic-massage shop, call it “Borat’s Happy End,” but no funny business, just good rub! Favorite part? When they knead my feets, I giggle, “Zis is ze life!” like Amélie say, all poetic. Worst part? Oil in hair, look like wet dog, not so sexy. Oh, and price – 50 tenge too much, I haggle, “Gimme discount, I bring sheep!” They laugh, I laugh, we good.

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Ya might notice my relaxation specialist eye picks up the tiniest details. Look at the small Zen Garden at the local community centre on Mira Street. I discovered it totally by accident, and it hit me like this sunny beam of hope. It’s like the city whispers "I'm a pacemaker, do you wanna go for a walk?"—weird right? But trust me, it works wonders.