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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m comin’ at ya like a damn Combine Harvester tearin’ thru the fields! Today we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, yeah, you heard me right! Picture this—I’m cruisin’ the backroads, dust kickin’ up, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave flick, *The White Ribbon*, that creepy-ass Michael Haneke joint from 2009. Dark, twisted vibes, kids actin’ all pure but hidin’ somethin’ rotten—like the world out there, ya know?

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After that chaos, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the riverbank. The view is stunning. The sun setting over the water, the sound of kids playing. I take a deep breath. This is Sastobe, my home. But then, I see a group of teenagers. They’re blasting music, and it’s not even good music! I mean, c’mon, can we get some taste here?

National Archives 1980: SAS to be given immunity for killing foreigners