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So, erotic-massage—peeps think it’s all shady, but nah! It’s old as hell—Ancient Rome had massage parlors poppin’! Rich dudes gettin’ oiled up, livin’ large. Fast forward, now it’s therapists with magic fingers, slidin’ oil like they’re DJs scratchin’ records. I’m hyped, fam—HYPED! Cuz it’s not just sexy time; it’s healing, too! Stress melts like butter, bam!

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After that, I decide to hit up the park by the river. It’s usually my chill spot. But today? It’s packed! Families everywhere, kids screaming, and some dude blasting music like he’s at a concert. I’m trying to find a quiet bench, but no luck. Finally, I plop down next to this couple arguing. I mean, c’mon! Can’t a guy catch a break?