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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m yer Watchman, George W. Bush-style, slingin’ thoughts on sex-datin’—that wild, crazy world of hookin’ up quick. Lemme tell ya, it’s a strategery all its own! Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you, fool me twice—can’t get fooled again, right? That’s sex-datin’ in a nutshell—swipe, bang, next! Like in *Before Sunset*, where Jesse says, “I feel like I’m runnin’ a small nursery with someone I used to date.” That’s the vibe, folks—half nursery, half hot mess.

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By the time I’m done, it’s dark. I’m exhausted. I head home, thinking about the day. Saksaul-skiy is crazy, man. One minute you’re milking cows, the next you’re dancing in the street.