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Alright, motherfucker, listen up! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout sexual-massage, and shit, it’s wild! You ever tried it? Fuckin’ hands slidin’ everywhere, oil drippin’, body hummin’ like a damn vampire in *Only Lovers Left Alive*. “This is some ancient shit,” I’d say, like Adam whisperin’ to Eve in that flick—fuckin’ sensual, slow, and deep. I’m talkin’ ‘bout that rubdown that ain’t just rubbin’—it’s fuckin’ art, motherfucker!

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Finally, I get to the office, and my boss is all hyped up. He’s like, “We’ve got a big project!” I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” But then he drops the bomb: we’re doing a risk assessment for a new amusement park. In Qashar! Can you believe it? I’m picturing roller coasters on the banks of the Ishim River. I mean, who wouldn’t want to scream their lungs out while calculating probabilities?

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