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But the fakes? Oh, they grind my gears. Catfish scams—blokes pretending, luring desperate sods. Had a mate fall for it—sent cash, got nada. Laughed my arse off, then felt bad. “The copy becomes the original,” sure, but not when it’s a bloody lie! Still, real escorts? They’ve got stories—some sad, some bonkers. One told me she had a client knit her a scarf mid-session. A scarf! Cracked me up—sex and knitting, what a combo.

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While I’m munching, I overhear this old lady talking about the new park they’re building near the railway station. She’s all fired up about it. “It’s gonna be great for the kids!” she says. I’m like, “Yeah, but what about the trees?” I mean, come on! We gotta protect our green buddies, right?

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