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So, I tried it once—total impulse, right? This tiny spot, hidden behind a laundromat—sketchy AF, but the vibe? Pure gold. This chick, she’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m thinkin’, “Honey, you’re strikin’ oil here!” Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d rub down gladiators—erotic or not, who knows, but it was *intimate*, ya feel? Made me happy as hell—tension gone, like *poof*!—but also pissed me off ‘cause why ain’t this everywhere?

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But then, BAM! I get to the archives, and the power’s out. Like, seriously? In Priozersk? I mean, come on! I had a whole plan for the day. I was gonna sort through some old documents about the history of the city. Priozersk has such a rich past, man! Founded in the 18th century, it’s got stories for days. But nope, no power, no sorting. Just me and my frustration.

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