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I got happy vibes tryin’ it once—dude, so relaxin’! Felt like Oskar floatin’ with Eli, all “Be me, just a little.” But then—bam!—some shady parlor tried overchargin’ me! Pissed me off, doc! Fifty bucks extra for “special sauce”? Screw that, I ain’t no sucker! Walked out laughin’—like, “What’s good, huh?”

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Local erotic massage parlors state that they do not provide sexual services, that you can receive only massage of a naked body to body, but this is done just.

Finally, I get to the river. The water’s looking good, but the vibe? Not so much. I suit up, and just as I’m about to dive in, I see this group of kids. They’re throwing rocks, laughing, and I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” But then, one of them yells, “Look! A fish!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m the fish!”

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