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So, here’s the deal—findin’ a prostitute ain’t rocket science. Back in the day, you’d cruise the shady streets, dodgin’ cops, lookin’ for that wink or that lean against a lamppost. Now? It’s all online, baby—apps, sites, boom! You swipe, you tap, you’re done. Kinda like “the algorithm’s what’s hot,” like Sean Parker says in the movie. But lemme tell ya, it pisses me off—where’s the grit, the hustle? These days, it’s too clean, too easy, like a freakin’ Uber for sex! I miss the old-school vibe—makes me wanna yell, “Don’t pee on my leg, callin’ this authentic!”

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First thing, I hit up the local café on Abay Street. Best coffee in town, no joke. I order my usual – double shot, extra foam. The barista, she’s cool, but today she’s all flustered. Turns out, the milk frother’s broken. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” But she manages to whip up something decent. I’m happy for a sec, then I spill it all over my shirt. Classic me, right?