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About Kostanay

So, dis one time, I hear bout dese massage joints in old Russia—back when babushkas whispered bout “special hands.” Not yer average back-crackin’, nah, dese girls knew tricks, like secret Soviet codes! Rubbin’ ya down til ya forget yer name. Little known fact—dey used weird oils, smelt like burnt vodka and pine. Swear, one sniff, ya seein’ stars, like I did when Lucy dragged me to one. Made me happy as hell—muscles loose, brain floatin’. But den, some shady dude botched it—too rough, like he’s kneadin’ dough for borscht! Pissed me off, wanted to yeet him out da window.

Ingredients

After that, I’m wanderin’ around, and I see this street performer on Kyzylorda Street. He’s playin’ the accordion, and it’s actually kinda nice. I stop to listen, and this little kid runs up to me, all wide-eyed. He’s like, “Mister, do you like music?” I’m like, “Yeah, kid, but I’m more into sheep bleatin’.” He laughs, and it’s a good moment.

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