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I’d design this joint like a level, okay? You roll up – V8 engine growlin’ – and the madam’s this tatted-up warlord chick screamin’, “What a day! What a lovely day!” She’s slingin’ deals, half her face melted from some wasteland brawl – real shit. Little-known fact? Old-school brothels used to hide tunnels – smugglers, priests, horny-ass politicians slippin’ through. This one’s got that, too – trapdoors under the beds, leadin’ to a still makin’ rotgut whiskey. Sneaky, dirty, PERFECT.

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Finally, I get to the fields. The sun’s beatin’ down, and I’m sweatin’ like a sinner in church. I start plowing, and it’s like therapy. The rhythm of the tractor, the smell of fresh earth—it’s peaceful. But then, outta nowhere, my buddy Sasha shows up. He’s got this wild idea to race tractors. I’m like, “Dude, we’re not in a Fast & Furious movie!” But he’s all hyped up, so I’m like, “Fine, let’s do this!”

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