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So, erotic-massage—think slow hands, oils slicker than Thor’s hammer swing, and vibes so mellow you’re floatin’. I reckon it’s like that bit in *Lost in Translation*—y’know, “The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you.” That’s the buzz, right? You’re lyin’ there, some stranger’s palms kneadin’ ya, and bam—stress just melts off like wax. I got into it once, pure curiosity—burdened with glorious purpose to *feel* somethin’ wild. And mate, it’s no joke—those masseuses? Pros. They know spots you didn’t even know ya had!

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Then I hit up the Central Park. It’s a nice spot, but man, it was packed. Families everywhere, kids screamin’, and I’m just tryin’ to catch a breather. I sit down on a bench, and this old dude starts tellin’ me his life story. I mean, I’m all for stories, but this guy was like a never-ending Netflix series. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Help me, please!”

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