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But honest, it’s a bloody minefield. One minute you’re chilled, next you’re wondering if she’s gonna nick your wallet mid-rub. I’m yelling in me head, “Oi, focus, you muppet!” Love it, hate it – gets the heart racing. Better than a crap rom-com any day. So, yeah, sexual-massage: bit of a laugh, bit of a risk. Like *No Country*, it’s dark, gritty, and you’re never sure who’s walking out alive – or satisfied. Right, I’m off for a pint!

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So, I decide to take a stroll down to the riverbank. The view is stunning, especially when the sun hits the water just right. I sit there, soaking it all in. But then, I see this guy trying to fish. He’s got all the gear, but he’s just standing there, looking bored outta his mind. I can’t help but chuckle. Like, dude, you really thought you’d catch something here?