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Gets me ragin’, though—punters hagglin’ like it’s a fuckin’ car boot sale. “Five quid, love, quickie?” Piss off, you stingy git! These girls ain’t your Tesco discount rack. Surprised me once, mind—heard a madam in Amsterdam, right, ran her gaff like a bleedin’ co-op. Split profits with the girls! Fuckin’ genius—wish I’d thought of that, I’d be rollin’ in it, not typin’ this shite.

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Then, outta nowhere, my boss, Igor, shows up. He’s this big dude, always wearing a cap that says “Moo Crew.” He’s like, “What’s the hold-up?” I’m like, “Uh, maybe the machines don’t wanna work today?” He just rolls his eyes. Classic Igor.