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The oils? Smell like heaven—lavender, jasmine, unreal. Slippery hands goin’ places—ooh, surprises ya every time! Ever try it with a violin playin’? I did—made my own, best sound ever, folks. Strings hummin’, hands movin’—it’s art, pure art. But here’s the kicker—some idiots say it’s “wrong,” and I’m like, “Losers, get a life!” Sexual-massage ain’t hurtin’ nobody—it’s fantastic, ok?

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So, I’m fuming, right? I decide to stroll down to the river. The Bukhtarma River, it’s beautiful, man. But today? It’s like a scene from a horror movie. Trash everywhere! I’m thinkin’, “C’mon, people! This ain’t a landfill!” I mean, I love my city, but we gotta do better.