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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, half-drunk, “I drink and I know things.” So, escorts, yeah? Been thinkin’ bout ‘em lately, ‘specially since I rewatched *Oldboy*—that twisted Park Chan-wook gem from 2003. “Revenge is good for your health, but pain lasts longer,” right? Escorts ain’t revenge, but they’re a bloody escape, ain’t they? A quick tumble to dodge the world’s crap. I’ve seen ‘em all—high-class birds strutting like they own King’s Landing, and street lasses who’d shank ya for a copper.

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But wait, there’s more! I hear a knock. It’s my neighbor, Dasha. She’s got a flashlight and a smile. “Need help?” she asks. I’m like, “You’re a lifesaver!” We end up chatting about everything—her cat, my fur, the state of the world. It’s nice, ya know?