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Funniest thing? This one guy – total newbie – thought “happy ending” was mandatory. Nope! Busted that myth quick. Sexual-massage ain’t always what porn says, hun. It’s sensual, sure, but can be chill – think slow rubs, energy flowin’, no rush. Surprised me first time I got one – legit felt like “a stone’s been lifted,” movie-style. I’m sittin’ there, buzzin’, thinkin’ “Edna, you’re a queen, no capes needed!” Favorite part? When they hit that spot – you know, the one – and you’re like, “Oh, dahling, yes!”

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I’m getting frustrated, but then I spot a cool drone. I’m like, “I need this in my life.” I ask the dude if I can try it out. He’s all like, “Sure, but don’t break it.” No pressure, right? I take it outside, and it’s flying like a champ. I’m feeling like a boss until it crashes into a tree. Oops.

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