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Ever tried it? I did once – whoops, exaggerated! Nearly fell off the table, tho! Slippery oil, soft hands, and bam – “I’m feelin’ like a king!” Then, bam, reality hits. “He’s got a killer in him,” like Robert Ford said. My killer? Embarrassment! Green frog blushin’ red – hilarious! Pro tip: dim lights hide the awkward.

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But then, outta nowhere, a sandstorm hits. I’m talking about wind, dust, the whole shebang. I’m like, “Seriously, Moyynkum? You’re trying to kill me!” I grab my stuff and run inside. The locals are chill, just sipping their drinks like it’s no big deal. I’m over here panicking like I’m in a disaster movie.

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