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So, check this—didya know sexual-massage goes way back? Ancient China, 2700 BC, they were kneadin’ bodies for “health,” wink-wink. Emperors got it, concubines too—prolly why they were chill AF. Fast forward, I’m diggin’ into this, and it’s everywhere—Thai parlors, sketchy neon signs, even legit spas sneakin’ it in. Makes me laugh, tho—ppl pay big bucks for what’s basically foreplay with oil. Dr. Evil vibes—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” coz that’s what these joints rake in!

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We meet up, and it’s like a mini celebration. We’re cracking jokes, and I’m telling him about the fire drill. He’s dying laughing, and I’m just happy to unwind.

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