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Downside? Costs a freakin’ fortune – “One million dollars,” my ass! And some places? Shady as fuck – had a masseuse once who whispered, “Extra?” Nah, lady, I ain’t here for that! Keep it classy, like Polanski’s shots – dark, moody, real. Anyway, erotic-massage ain’t just foreplay – it’s history, it’s skill, it’s – damn, it’s power. Try it, bro – tell me I’m wrong!

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Next, I decide to grab some food at this little café on Kabanbai Batyr Street. I order plov, thinking it’ll be a quick bite. But nooo, they take forever! I’m sitting there, scrolling through my phone, and I see a meme about waiting for food. I’m like, “Yup, that’s me right now.” Finally, the plov arrives, and it’s bomb! Like, I could eat that every day.

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