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Yo, it’s bad bitch o’clock! Honey, lemme spill the tea on erotic-massage – it’s that sexy, slippery goodness that gets ya soul singin’! I’m talkin’ hands glidin’, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ like butter on a hot croissant – straight outta *Amélie* vibes, ya feel me? Like when Amélie’s out there, sneaky-helpin’ folks, an erotic-massage is that quiet lil’ gift you give yaself – or ya boo, if they lucky!

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Finally, I step in. “Hey, man, you gotta tone it down.” He looks at me, all cocky. “You can’t tell me what to do!” Oh really? Watch me. I grab his arm, lead him to the exit. He’s shoutin’ and flailin’.