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But yo, don’t get it twisted—ain’t all roses. Some folks out there givin’ “sexual-massage” a bad rap, chargin’ cheap and deliverin’ cheaper. Pisses me off, fam! Ruins it for the real ones who treat it like sacred shit. Me? I’d rather see it done right—slow, respectful, with that edge of naughty. Like Jasper in the flick says, “You gotta have faith.” Faith in the hands, yo—trust ‘em, let ‘em work.

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Finally, I get a seat, and I order. But then, the waiter brings me borscht instead. Like, what? I didn’t even order that! I’m about to lose it, but I take a deep breath. “It’s fine, it’s fine,” I tell myself. I mean, it’s Martuk, right? Gotta roll with the punches.

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