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About Almaty

Oh, and the profiles—“just want fun, no drama.” Bollocks! Everyone’s a walking tragedy on there. Saw this lass once, posted pics in lingerie—turns out she was a madam running a side hustle. Fair play, I thought, smirking—least she’s honest. Unlike these pricks saying “DTF” but can’t spell “orgasm.” I choose violence, I swear—gimme a crossbow, I’d shoot the lot. “Life’s a trap,” Ten whispers—sex-dating’s the bloody proof. Stick to wine and revenge, mate—safer that way.

Here’s to dating with confidence.

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Dinner at my place is always a feast. She makes that plov that could make a grown man cry. I’m stuffing my face, and she’s telling me about the neighbors. Classic mom stuff.