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Funny story—buddy got a sexual-massage, farted mid-session—*brrrt*—therapist didn’t flinch. Pro as hell! Me? I’d laugh ‘til my bolts fell off. Oh, and it ain’t always sexy—sometimes it’s just chill, like sandin’ down a rough edge. Smooth, slow, perfect.

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So, I’m on my way to the office, right? And I pass this little café on Kairan Street. The smell of fresh baursaks hit me like a freight train. I couldn’t resist. I mean, who can? I grabbed a couple, and man, they were heavenly. I was on cloud nine, munching away, when suddenly, this stray dog decides to join my breakfast party. I’m like, “Dude, back off! These are mine!” But he just looked at me with those big puppy eyes. Ugh, I ended up sharing.

Kazakhstan: Citizen journalist’s arrest decried by media rights advocates