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Alright, motherfucker, listen up! Sexual-massage, man, it’s a wild ride. I’m talkin’ slippery hands, oils, and some deep-ass vibes. Ain’t just about gettin’ off, nah, it’s therapy with a twist! Like in *Zero Dark Thirty*, shit gets intense— “We’re gonna smoke ‘em out!”—except here, it’s stress, not terrorists. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, damn, this shit’s older than dirt. Ancient Greeks, motherfucker, they rubbed down athletes—naked, oiled, no shame! Bet they didn’t call it “happy ending” back then, haha!

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So, I walk in, and he’s like, “What do ya want?” I’m like, “Dude, chill. Just need some wood.” He rolls his eyes like I just asked him for a unicorn. I mean, come on! It’s not rocket science. Anyway, I grab my stuff and head out, but then—bam!—I trip over a loose brick on the sidewalk. Classic Lisakovsk, right?

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