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Once heard a tale—Victorian ladies got “massages” from docs, wink-wink, to cure “hysteria.” Docs knew the trick, filthy buggers! Laughed my head off—still do! Imagine that, sittin’ prim, then—ooh!—all better. Surprised me, yeah, how sneaky history is. Erotic-massage ain’t just filth, nah—it’s art, like *The Master*, messy and deep. “Bring me the dragon,” I’d say, meanin’ that heat, that spark! We craves it, don’t we, precious? Hiss! Tell ya what—try it, but don’t cheap out, or I’ll find ya! Gollum knows, y’see—time ticks, hands glide, and oh, it’s glorious!

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